HEVA Online

Hi there, this is my very first review about a pretty shitty game, I hope it'll help you decide what kind of game it is.

The game's called HEVA online, I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean but I've seen worse names for an MMO.

HEVA is a side-scrolling beat-em-up game. It's kind of like Dragonica, except there's pirates and it's shitty.

Now, I'm sure when you saw the logo of the game up there, you thought "God damn, look at that fucking logo, there's arrows and all that shit pointing at places, this game must be bad ass"

Well think again.

Does this look bad ass? Fuck no it doesn't.

So I thought fuck it, the characters look like faggots but that doesn't have to mean the game is bad
(who the fuck am I kidding?). So I clicked start, and I get thrown into a dungeon.

Look at this bad ass

You start as a level 60 in a dungeon, they're trying to show end game stuff and show me how awesome this game is at later levels but jesus christ I'm not impressed at fucking all. I would expect myself to ride on some goddamn boat in the sea with a parrot on my shoulder, a missing leg and one eye. They show all these pirate shit on their website but all you get is some fag with regular armor. The skills suck ass too, there's only 2 at level 60, one that makes you spin around like some silly asshole and another does an uppercut. Seriously? I get those kind of skills at level 1 on other shitty games. Why can't I get a fucking pirate cannon or something like on their dumbass 'Game Start' button?

Anyways, like every game, you do some shitty quests, they're pretty easy since it shows you where to go when you click on the quest. So I had to kill 5 of these shellfish. Fun right?

The only fun thing about this stupid shit is that the shellfish looks like he smoked some pretty good shit

feels good man

Then I met some Korean guy who gave me all his items because he was quitting this fucked up game, I was close to quitting too, the lag was un-fucking-bearable. For some fucked up reason, your first attack would never count, after that, the attacks land pretty well, you don't notice the lag that much but when you try to pick up items or use a skill you have to wait for a few goddamn seconds, makes you want to wipe your ass with this game.

This man knows how much this game sucks

So, after noticing how much this game sucks and how there are no goddamn pirates or parrots in this game, I quit after I walked pointlessly around the town a little.